Wow! The past few weeks have been amazing. I have been able to slowly watch the transformation of the changing of the leaves. I've seen all shades of green, yellow, red, and orange. I look around as I drive. Trees surround me. They are in front of me, ahead of me, above me, and below me. I have been able to take the time needed to make an imprint in my memory of this beauty.
I talk to my children about them. I listen to how they describe what they see. They, of course, have so many things to say. This process occurs over the course of a few weeks. It really gets you in the mood for the colder weather and the holidays. It's like no other feeling I have had before. Now I understand what people have said all along. The changing of the seasons is truly an experience. One you should embrace and enjoy.
Lately, I have watched the leaves as they begin to fall. Even seeing them in piles is memorable. You really just want to run and jump into them. Maybe even lose yourself in them. I have many great photographic visions of my children in these leaves, thinking maybe I would pull my car over and photograph them buried leaving only their faces to see.
One night as I was trying to fall asleep I imagined myself as one of those leaves. I imagined myself holding on to the branch not wanting to let go. Eventually, I lose my grip and begin to drift realizing I have no control of where I would land. I felt so free. I allowed my senses to be heightened, feeling the coolness, the weightlessness, the fearlessness, letting myself be carried wherever I am destined to fall but at the same time feeling frightened by where I may end up, knowing I will never again be on the branch. That the tree will grow new leaves and I would be forgotten.
Instead, this leaf lands and a little girl and two boys come along and pick that leaf up and say "mommy look how beautiful this leaf is! Can we keep it?" and I say "yes, yes it is one of the most beautiful leaves I have ever seen and you may keep it."
I am reminded in this season of who I am, and it is my children who are helping see life for what it is and who move at the speed necessary to take in all the things around them. They are truly the ones who are teaching me how to mother, how to live, and that our lives are what we make of it-each and every moment.
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2 comments:
Oh my gosh! I got chilly bumps from that one! It was beautiful and moving. So well written that I could envision myself as your leaf floating, floating. And,then there was a rush of emotion as you described the children disovering you and all that there is in life. Awesome Mommy!!
Wow Julie. This is what life was meant to be. Sharing these special times with your children. Thanks for sharing this beautiful story.
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